By LeRoy McConnell III

When football enthusiasts hear the name Duane Charles Parcells they may think of a two-time Super Bowl winning head football coach of the New York Giants (’86 & ’90).  His resume in the National Football League places him on that monument of coaches from the Lombardis, Nolls, Shulas, and his protege, Belichicks.  To some, Parcells was a great coach, not only because he won two Super Bowls, but he resurrected two different franchises which makes his legacy even greater.  He brought the New England Patriots to the Super Bowl in 1996, though losing to the Green Bay Packers team.  He also brought credibility to the New York Jets by getting them to an AFC championship game.  Lastly, the two-time Coach of the Year, Parcells is known to leave franchises in a better position than they were prior to him being there.  So, it’s a slam dunk that Parcells should be a rental coach for the Payton-less Saints team this fall.  I mean he can’t possibly @#$# up the New Orleans Saints the next ten months, can he?

The real football coach of the New Orleans Saints is Sean Payton, who as of April 1, 2012 will be suspended from coaching his team because he lied to Roger Goodell about the bounties his team were issuing in the NFL.  Payton has decided before he has to go into hiatus to make his most daring move as a head coach and bring in his mentor to coach his team.  Oh Lord, please, do I really have to listen to the NFL, the “four letter network”, all the sports radio stations and internet sites kissing the Big Tuna’s ring once again?  The Tuna’s head is already enormous, and you know he is loving the fact that his name is out there again.  What tickles me is he has the nerve to react as if he really isn’t interested in coaching again.  I will say it, why not?  Tuna, who cares that you will have to wait another five years before being enshrined?  The five year rule was made because you kept coming back to coach in the first place.  You will have your day in Canton, but I know you can’t resist being on that sideline, especially when you  have a chance to win.  Your protege is reaching out for help.  He trusts you more than anyone to take care of his baby!

This is a note to “Them Saints Fans” (Who That!).  I pray that the Big Tuna takes Sean Payton’s offer to coach your football team this fall.  As a Cowboy’s fan, I would endorse him myself.  I pray that he takes over your team and destroys it the way he did MINE!  The best thing about Parcells being the Dallas Cowboy coach was the day he QUIT!  His friends in the media announced his retirement, that’s funny because the man QUIT!  Mike Rhyner from the Hardline calls him “The New Jersey Con Man” because he is an individual that we thought would bring credibility back to the Dallas Cowboys organization and all he did was defecate all over Jerry Jones.  I have never seen the hands-on owner, Jones, so miserable as when the Con Man was the coach.  He paid Parcells handsomely right after his divorce settlement in 2002.  Those fat pockets didn’t generate any playoff victories, as he went 0-2 in his tenure.  I remember listening to his hour-long radio show, daily, doing more talking than coaching.  He wouldn’t allow any staff members, players or Mr. Jones to speak with the media.  It was The Con Man’s show.  The only coach that could get away with that is former coach Jimmy Johnson, who has the skins on the wall with the legendary status here in Dallas.  Bill Parcells was a joke down here in Texas and I promise you Jerry Jones couldn’t have been happier by his exit.

Once Parcells retired from the “Big D”, he found another fish in Miami.  At least he had some sense not to go back into coaching because of the failure in Dallas; heck his last playoff win was in 1998 as the New York Jets’ coach.  The Miami Dolphins organization must have been under the influence giving the Glorified Gym Teacher (thanks Mike Rhyner!) the keys to the kingdom by announcing him as the Executive Vice President of Football (fattening his pockets once again).  Didn’t the Patriots owner, Robert Kraft, teach anybody anything?  The Con Man cried about not having enough input in player personnel decisions.  Upon his departure, Parcells famously stated: “They want you to cook the dinner; at least they ought to let you shop for some of the groceries”.  After Parcells departed New England, Kraft brought in a guy named Belichick, and the rest is history.  The Glorified Gym Teacher took over the Dolphins, gutted the coaching staff and team, put his usual Parcells guys in place (he does this everywhere he goes), and by accident in year two, the team won the division, though losing in the first round of the playoffs.

Bill Parcells is a popular guy.  He looks comfortable as an analyst on ESPN and should consider staying there.  I know all coaches have that burning desire to get back into the game when an opportunity comes available.  The Con Man, Glorified Gym Teacher is 70 years old.  We have seen that father time passes both athletes and coaches.  His act, truthfully hasn’t worked in two decades.  His name holds plenty of weight but if you are Sean Payton, step back and ask yourself what has he done lately?  Close your eyes and what do you see?  Nothing.  As a fan, I have already had a mouth full Tuna.  No more please.

LeRoy McConnell of “A Fan’s Point of View”, for War Room Sports