By Roy Burton
Kris Humphries and bride-to-be Kim Kardashian
Oklahoma City point guard Russell Westbrook was frequently criticized for his decision-making skills during the Thunder’s recently completed playoff run. However, no NBA player has had a greater lapse in judgment during this postseason than Kris Humphries of the New Jersey Nets.
On May 18, Humphries proposed to Kim Kardashian – his girlfriend of six months – by giving her a 20.5 carat engagement ring.
Yes, you read that correctly. Twenty-and-a-half carats.
Kim Kardashian's 20.5 carat engagement ring
For the moment, let’s look past the fact that a bauble that large pretty much has to be a blood diamond of some sort. In the spirit of (potential) matrimony, it’s probably best that we don’t think about all of the people who possibly lost their lives so that Humphries could proclaim his love in such a foolish manner.
Now to be clear, if Humphries truly believes that Kardashian is the one that he would like to spend the rest of his life with, then I applaud him for making his commitment known to both God and man.
However, in my opinion, I don’t think he has any idea of what he’s gotten himself into.
Kardashian, 30, is a socialite who… really hasn’t done much of note. Even so, she and the rest of her family pulled in an impressive $65 million last year, courtesy of their reality shows, endorsements, and other business ventures.
The future Mrs. Humphries is the most well-known figure in the brood; one can argue that her fame is due in large part to amateur videographer (and part-time R&B singer) Ray J, who documented his bedroom exploits with Kardashian in an infamous recording that has been seen by half of Western civilization.
Following her relationship with Ray J, Kardashian has been romantically linked to both Reggie Bush and Miles Austin. These flings have kept her in the pages of both Sports Illustrated and People magazine, and have earned her a (perhaps undeserved) reputation as an athlete-chaser.
Now I’m not saying she’s a gold digger…because she clears way more money than anyone she’s been with over the past few years, athlete or otherwise.
Speaking of athletes, Kardashian is reminiscent of one who, coincidentally, was drafted by the New Jersey Nets.
Tim Thomas.
Much like the former NBA player, Kardashian looks the part and has tons of natural talent, but when you put on the tape (literally and figuratively), all you see is an individual who doesn’t appear to be maximizing their God-given ability.
In their defense, both Thomas and Kardashian have shown the propensity to step up during a contract year. And no matter the circumstances, there’s always a suitor at the door, hoping that they’re the one who can finally coax the talent out of them.
After six months, perhaps Humphries thinks he’s that man. One thing that he clearly didn’t think about was the potential for uncomfortable situations with his bride-to-be. It has to be somewhat awkward to take a woman such as Kardashian to your high school reunion or to your family picnic, considering that nearly everyone has seen her wares (not to mention the fact that she was as emotionless on the aforementioned video as Rajon Rondo).
Or maybe he just doesn’t care.
A year ago, he was a journeyman NBA reserve who was sentenced to play his home games in Newark, NJ – a city best known for Mayor Cory Booker, Redman and the infamous riots of 1967. Today, he’s a starter on a team destined for Brooklyn, fresh off of a career year (10.0 PPG, 10.4 RPG in 74 games) that will set him up for a huge payday once the free agency period begins.
Humphries is playing with the proverbial house money at this point, so perhaps he’s trying to get everything that he can before the well runs dry. But with the collective bargaining agreement set to expire this summer, it was fiscally irresponsible of him to spend $2 million on anything, especially considering that he has no idea when his next paycheck is coming.
With a $3.2 million gross salary in 2010, Humphries likely didn’t even make enough in take-home pay to cover the cost of the ring. According to Basketball-Reference.com, Humphries has made nearly $17 million during his seven-year NBA career. So if he’s been smart with his money (like Cincinnati Bengals’ QB Carson Palmer), he may just have made enough to give Kardashian the scaled-down version of the Hope Diamond.
But, in all likelihood, Humphries is spending funds that he hasn’t even earned yet. This is like a payday loan taken to the extreme – not even Montel Williams would approve of such frivolous expenses.
By comparison, L.A. Lakers’ forward Lamar Odom (who has actually made a decent amount of money in his career), gave Kim’s sister Khloe a nine-carat engagement ring two years ago.
Humphries clearly didn’t consult his future brother-in-law when he made his purchase.
In a society where married couples are now the minority, Kris and Kim should be congratulated for their recent engagement. To celebrate the momentous occasion, Kim’s mother Kris Jenner threw an intimate party that included two miniature horses covered in glitter.
Yes, you read that correctly. Miniature horses covered in glitter.
Russell Westbrook’s decision-making doesn’t seem all that bad now, does it?
Roy Burton of The Broad Street Line, for War Room Sports
