Black men have been doing the nasty with women outside their race for longer than any of us can remember. Also, for as long as anyone can remember, it’s always been big deal to some, and never a big deal to others. Today, the most attention, deservedly so, gets paid to the African-American male athletes who are not dating black women. We African-American men with regular occupations get no love, or hate for this matter. Lucky us. The black men that dominate the television screen, fill the arenas, and set our cultural trends have earned the right to rest on the slide of public eye’s microscope. My rhetorical question is why. Why do people care who’s marrying, dating, kissing, boning or spooning who? Black women seem to be the ones who are the most repulsed with these men’s actions. Apparently some of them want to know why black athletes choose or even more disturbing to them, prefer women outside of their race.
I won’t lie and say I don’t say a slick comment or two when I see a black athlete with a woman that’s not black. But I’m also just as mad when Beyonce takes an acting role that should’ve gone to a real black actress. I don’t make a big fuss about it, maybe a little. But for the most part, I vent, quickly get over it, and charge it to the game. The way some black women are passionate about getting looked over by black athletes, I’m surprised when I turn to Sportscenter and don’t see a group of angry women picketing outside the NFL and NBA offices. This lets me know that most women act like they care, but they really don’t.
For the bothered, and even those that act like they are bothered, I understand your concerns. You’re concerned about the future of the “black family.” Or maybe you’re thinking that another wealthy black man has been stolen from the crop. Some black women believe that they deserve the “better” life he can provide to a spouse. I admit, these are some legit concerns. Maybe there is an underlying reason why African-American men are choosing not to settle down within their race. Maybe it’s due to how they were raised. Has anyone ever considered that reproducing with a black woman may not have been stressed during their upbringing? A sense of culture may not have been a priority. Maybe they grew up taught to judge by the character of the person and rather than the color. Or maybe it’s due to way the man was treated by the different races of his female peers. I hear a little bit of Becky goes a long way when you’re a teenager. Whatever the theory is, the fact remains. Some black men are not dating, marrying or even entertaining black women. As far as white women go, to some black men, it’s like pork, unless a conscious effort is made to stay away, there’s going to be play. What can one do? Unfortunately, black athletes are jumping out of the black woman dating pool as if they were gay, felons or married.
Ladies you no longer have to debate the reason why these men date outside of their race. The answer is simple. Whatever excuse, reason or rationale he gives is irrelevant. The man likes what he likes. It’s that simple. True, some things may influence that, but whether or not it’s due to attraction, feasibility, or accessibility, he likes what he likes. Miss me with the bullchit talk that I stated in the last paragraph. I respect the man that steps to the plate and stays away from the excuses. I rather not hear that black women are too aggressive, ghetto, self-centered, disrespectful, or gold-diggers. All of those traits cross color barriers. Some white women are just as broke. There are Asians that sport a lot of acrylic. And don’t be surprised if there are as many Spaniard women that are not sweating some of these crusty, no game, corny athletes. I get upset when black men are willing to downgrade their race simply because they are not man enough to admit that they like other races. I understand that Flava Flav’s Basketball Wives have blessed our television machines and validate some of the stereotypes, but who is dumb enough to think all black women act this way.
If it’s possible for me to put this issue to bed, I promise you that most African-American male athletes actually date and marry within their race.
For more on this topic, please be sure to check out the March 10th and March 17th (my guest feature) talk radio episodes at WarRoomSports.com/replay.html. For easier access to my segment on The War Room, click the following link… http://goo.gl/AYzDU
Stephen “Es Wild” Wilder, guest blogger for War Room Sports
(Click the signature above to read other writings from Stephen “Es Wild” Wilder)