"Toast"

I never thought that I’d see another Eagles cornerback welcome the kind of egregious abuse that “Toast” Jenkins became famous for as he’d continuously relinquish huge passing plays to opposing receivers, shamelessly being burnt play after play.  Just thinking about that bum incites a strange craving for scrambled eggs, Edd Hipps Turkey Bacon and butta…but I digress.

"Stir Fry"

In a short period of time, Dimitri “Stir Fry” Patterson has cooked himself into the realm of 10^th degree burnage reached only by the likes of his predecessor, the aforementioned, Mr. “Toast” Jenkins.

“Stir Fry” Patterson has showcased sloppy footwork, bad angles, deplorable judgment, just plain STUPID decision making, like giving a 10-yard cushion to a receiver standing on your teams 1-yard line, and routinely gets burnt like an albino without sunblock.

A Bowl of Dimitri

So Eagles fans, as you watch the Eagles games and start to feel a strange craving for shrimp fried rice, sushi or kung pao chicken, that’s not your stomach playing tricks on you…it’s the daunting presence of Dimitri “Stir Fry” Patterson resonating through your television screens. Don’t fight it, embrace it.  You’re witnessing history.  We haven’t seen anything like this in roughly 20 years…but if all else fails, arm yourself with a pair of sharp Chop Sticks and watch Dimitri Patterson get ferociously “stir fried”.   

Paul “PJ” Johnson of The War Room, for War Room Sports

Tags: Dimitri Patterson, Izel Jenkins, Paul Johnson, Philadelphia Eagles, The War Room, War Room Sports

This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 4th, 2011 at 11:02 am and is filed under General, NFL. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.